Life inside a chicken

Little things mean a lot

2012-02-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

a) Carnival inside the chicken:
As the deadly European cold wave seems to have finally settled, I continued with my Slovenian expedition last Saturday ... This time to its oldest town - Ptuj, where settlements date back 2000 years and history takes us as back as stone age ... Not the most thoughtfully planned trip, it was actually decided in "emergency" over Skype and within an hour we were on our way! ... I'm blessed with Slovene friends who never complicate and are always ready to accompany me in the loveliest possible way ... In return I show them parts of their country, which they last visited during Primary school ;)

Ptuj for the last 50+ years, has been the center stage of Slovenia's annual traditional Carnival - locally referred to as Kurentovanje ... (How cool is that I was with someone who've actually lived the real deal in Rio de Janeiro) ... It took us an hour and a half to reach Ptuj from Ljubljana ... Welcomed by warm, clear sunny weather, with frozen lake in the city center and even though not so many people were present, we did manage to catch some Kurenti, dressed in heavy (30 kilos as we were told) bulky sheep skins, masks and whistling bells scaring the evil spirits of winter in a symbolically Slavic fashion! ... as my co-passenger perfectly summed up - "totally worth it!" :)

b) An encounter with nostalgia and hospitality
Today, as I left from work, I didn't feel like making something at home for the dinner (as usual) ... so I decided to stop at this new Chinese restaurant which is 2km away from where I live ... Now two unusual things happened as I sat and ordered my dinner.

First, an old man having beer in front of me started a conversation ... It rarely happens here ... Slovenes although polite, almost never chat with unrelated strangers including fellow Slovenes ... He introduced himself as an economist having lived in America for 17 years ... the conversation went on about his traveling across the globe ... comparison of Capitalism and Socialism came with a hint of Yugo-nostalgia ... At one point he even mentioned working briefly for Karachi Shipyard, to which my eyes lit up :) ... I've always enjoyed listening to someone elder and that much experienced, as its not hard to imagine myself in their shoes within 30 years ... Cherry on top, this whole discussion happened in Slovene language (which lately has been going downhill) ... And then he stopped me from paying for my own dinner ... Yes!, the kind of hospitality we usually associate with Slovenia's Southern neighbors, was on full display here :)

Little things really do mean a lot and I'm glad these little things rescuing me out of last year's bureaucratic darkness, back to a bright positive life inside the chicken!

The legend of King Matjaž

2012-01-30T15:11:00.000-08:00

Contrary to my blog's title, most of my posts are either about life outside the chicken or whining about its bureaucracy, but last Saturday gave me perfect opportunity to make amends :) ... On a beautiful sunny day, right under the nose of Mount Peca, for the first time ever, I went to Koroška to deal with something other than locking our horns in the fields of Šurnikovo with our beloved yet stubborn Mežica Cricket Club!

Legend has it that King Matjaž - a righteous ruler during Carinthian times fought bravely against the Turks (Although Slovenia's exaggerated obsession with Turkish abductions on their land, remain historically unverified) ... Anyway, when King realized that the Turks are too strong, he hid himself in a cave inside Peca, along with a handful of his companions ... Asleep on a table, the legend further says that when his beard has grown 9 times around the table, he'll wake up, rescue his people from oppressors and the golden Carinthian era will be back! (shame I gave up on my beard too early ;))

Every January, under this legends flag, people from Črna na Koroškem have been organizing a snow-based construction competition for the last 20 years. An atmosphere of a lively festival, you have freshly prepared snow dunes for your project, cooked wine (or tea in my case), some food, lots of participants with innovative ideas for the structure, opportunity to vote for your favorite, constant traditional folk music in the background plus locals talking in their distinguishably peculiar and sinusoidal dialect (which I can't stop mimicking :)) ... The event is undoubtedly the biggest for this region, people participate from all parts of Slovenia, and sometimes from neighboring Austria as well ... Who knows next year we'll propose our very own Džamija with huge Turkish minaret ... May be King Matjaž would be provoked enough to wake up earlier ;)

Once upon a time in Swedish Lappland

2012-01-02T07:06:00.000-08:00

Aurora Borealis as seen from Abisko sky station

My 2012 has just begun and it feels like a fish out of water ... I hear my Yahudis whispering everywhere ... Stairs leading underground seem to be Tunnelbana ... I imagine the roads and trees as blanketed by snow ... Each journey feels never-ending ... I'm forgetting to press the clutch while driving and every once in a while someone shouts from the back to make me drive carefully, to turn on the internal lights or to instantly open rear windows for the "fresh air" ;) ... Mind is intoxicated with Red Bull while mouth is always busy chewing gums, crinkles, suparis and peanuts ... Sometimes I wish Mooda will drive for me, while I indulge myself in the horizon of Pakistani music ... No song escapes our loud lip-syncing... Sun is as rare as a dinosaur ... Every lining on the black sky provokes a glimpse of Aurora ... Binazhar is called to capture them with his famous DSLR equipped with a tripod ... Key components of an architecture seems to be manufactured completely out of Ice ... Toast, milky English tea, dates, biscuits and boiled eggs constitute daily breakfast ... Everytime I buy something, money part is automatically skipped and the bill appears on billmonk ... Wi-Fi is a human right since every visited place must be socially checked-in ... No sentence is complete without parodying ZH or AL ... Perhaps there is a cure for this Swedonostalgia ... perhaps everything needs to be revised again ASAP!

Do what you love!

2011-12-18T06:47:00.000-08:00

It was December the 18th, 2006 ... I broke all my records of waking up earlier ... quick shower was followed by a session of hair combing ... cologning with some sophisticated dress selection ... as I was about to leave, my mother granted me her blessings for my success ... so much was the ecstasy that even a blind date at that stage couldn't replicate the scenario above.

It was my first day at work, perhaps the only day I reached work on time :) ... there were obvious nerves as I was being introduced to a large team of a monstrous project ... Baptism followed soon in the form of actual work ... and like every freshman, it made me realize how Computer Science is not the same as Software Engineering :) ... Things overall were settling in within weeks ... the peers were all nice and friendly ... some altruistic, some critical, others sharp and some very phenomenal ... During the course of those 2 years, I worked for this organization, I met some fascinating people ... people whom I'm still connected with ... people, who forced me grow, made me learn, helped me believe and gave me every attribute which decisively shaped the direction of my career.

5 years from that day, the geekiness is still alive, the hunger still there, the level of professionalism may have been slightly altered but the solid foundations that were laid by my mentors, still enabling me to accommodate latest technology ... Why I value my profession so much is because choosing it has been truly a prophecy ... instincts decided it 2 decades ago ... rebellion against parents followed next (who in this regard ultimately dictated their own terms) ... academic circumstances threatened to crash the dreams, but finally by the grace of God, it went through ... Being able to work everyday what you love, is like a fairytale, isn't it? :)

To the young guns, accidentally coming across this post, I advice you for the career, to pursue what you like as opposed to "trends" and "parents" - (which is unfortunately the case in our culture) ... There exist professions, as important and fruitful as Engineering and Medical science ... don't narrow your choice, do what you love and the money will follow ... To the parents, without being disrespectful and while acknowledging the fact that you want the best for your children ... guide them for their career but stop preventing them from achieving their dreams ... your children will be gratified and it will eventually turn out to be the best for them!

Why are Jews so smart?

2011-11-22T14:01:00.001-08:00

Sick of my Anti-Zionist rhetoric and constant mimicry of Zaid Hamid, a friend of mine yesterday mailed me this article - "Why are Jews so smart". An interesting read though, I decided to reflect upon it with a blog post.

The author:
Dr. Stephen Carr Leon - Does he exist in reality or is he a member of Anonymous? (in which case Israeli society is in real danger from someone like him thoroughly and openly researching them for 3 years) ... Why can't I google this genius and his prestigious thesis on internet at all? ... see for yourself

The intro:
"It goes without denial that Jews are ahead in all aspect of life such as engineering, music, science and most obvious in business where nearly 70% of world trade/business are held by the Jews such as cosmetic, fashion, food, arms, hotels and film industries (Hollywood and others)."

Contributions to science, engineering and entertainment has been made by many nations including Jews which raises the question - "what other parameters instead of just numbers one should use to effectively measure which nation is ahead?" ... Now coming to business, the very Talmudic idea of charging interest on any loan to a Gentile, led to the creation of Italian Merchant Banks by immigrant Sephardi Jews which later gave birth to the current fraudulent usury-based modern economic system responsible for creating money out of thin air. Explains something?

The rest:
Rest of the article (except the womb drills) including food, smoking, multilingualism, education, sports and even the concluding paragraph makes a lot of sense. Question is how many Jews and Gentiles really practice it?

My conclusion:
While acknowledging the fact that more than 20% of overall Nobel Laureates are Jewish, the article is extreme generalization, fabrication, opportunistic exaggeration, a touch racist, an overstatement at best and a hoax in short. There are undoubtedly clever and innovative Jewish people like Albert Einstein, Woody Allen, Michael Dell, Sergey Brin, Calvin Klein, Steven Spielberg, Mark Zuckerberg, to name a few but hey! ... for every big Jewish name, one can easily come up with many equally capable Gentiles from the corresponding industry, so what point does the whole thing makes? ... While an average Kike from Hymie-town might believe and brag such an article to boast his claim as God's "Chosen people", ... Gentiles with brains certainly won't :)

Frode turismo d'Italia!

2011-10-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

Its been more than 4 months since we spent this year's spring as an adventurous road trip in Italy, but kudos to Italian government, we're still receiving "souvenirs". As we rented 2 cars for the trip, first, my friends in Sweden and now I've received similar envelopes containing 2 documents in each; a receipt of 36€ from Europcar Italia (already charged from our CC) and a mystery letter attempting to explain in Italian what this souvenir is about. The exuberant confidence with which Italians enforce Italian language over rest of the world makes me wonder sometimes if I'm living in stone age and that English is no more an International Lingua Franca ... my bad ;)

Upon further inquiry from Eurpocar, it was revealed that this tiny amount of 36€ is "administrative fee for providing driver information to the authorities", and this fee is detailed on the rental agreement signed at the timeof pick-up ... So entering the car license plate number in a search textbox and clicking search button followed by print, costs 36€???

After Google translating the bits and pieces of this souvenir, the most important catch phrase turned out to be ZTL (Zona a Traffico Limitato - Limited Traffic Zones) ... In short we drove a street reserved only for locals in Napoli, one after another. I mean, seriously??? an unsafe, dangerous Comune di Mafioso full of garbage and street crimes should actually give us back some money for wasting our precious vacation time there!

After thorough discussions and victory of morality, we've agreed to settle the fine ASAP (which has collectively been summed up to 252€ for both cars - 42€ per person), our current dilemma is to find out how to actually pay this shit! ... Nowhere on those letters, there is any clue how to do it ... no bank account number, no website, no telephone number ... I've sent emails to local municipality of Napoli, Europcar, Italian National agency for tourism, only to get back automated replies in Italain that they have received my email ... no moron on phone speaks any English (after initially admitting that he/she does!)

And what more? ... some search through forums regarding this type of traffic offense has revealed that we're not the only frustrated tourists to have received fines after months returning from Italy ... Leave tourists out, municipality of Florence issues traffic violation tickets of value 52 million € per year ... 52 million!!!, this is fucking insane amount of money we are talking here (just from one Italian city) ... this is a government sponsored rip-off which should definitely be covered by global Occupy campaigns!

Frustrated inside the chicken

2011-09-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

Slovenes are interesting people ... not that I'm generalizing them but thats how I see them resolving a problem. Apart from the odd exception who actually resolve something, majority has an ultra-defensive approach which leaves them quite often in double bind. I was once joking with one friend that although Slovenia needs it, Slovenes will be the last nation in the world to follow Arab Spring. One can imagine what kind of bureaucracy is exhibited in such a country. During the last couple of months this is exactly what I've experienced, which left me pulling my hairs and banging my head on the wall and If it weren't blessings from the holy month of Ramadan, I'd have crumbled long ago!

Its been almost 3 years since I'm living here. My temporary residence was about to expire on 31st of August. I applied for an extension on time along with every necessary document (proof of work, paid health insurance, paid taxes, apartment contract, copy of passport, a photo, application fees etc) only to get back a letter from the government claiming that I lack one important document without which the residence will not be prolonged - "Certificate of impunity from home country" - ("Potrdilo o nekaznovanju iz matične države"). Not to mention that this document must be notarized by the nearest Embassy of the applicant's country (Pakistani Embassy in Rome in my case) and then finally translated into Slovene language, like every other official document.

Yes! you heard it right, if you're from 3rd country (non-European) living temporarily in Slovenia, you have to obtain this certificate from your home country and provide here every 3 years ... the catch is "if they conclude that you can be a threat to the country". Sounds soo logical ha? In this country a Pakistani employed for 3 years in Technology Industry is more threatening than corrupt Politicians :) ... Being from Pakistan myself, I'm used to such behavior in my home country, but never expected that a "civilized" and "educated" European country would possess such idiocracy.

Since I haven't been to Pakistan in these 3 years, I tried contacting my application referent over the phone and explain her the situation (ironically in Slovene because most people working in these administrative units do not speak English, not even in "Sector for foreigners" :)), but to no avail! ... Whichever way I chose to explain her the problem, the answer was ... "yeah but law is law!" ("zakon je zakon") ... Mind you, in this country, law is above everything including common sense. My friends living in other European countries including UK, Germany, France, Sweden, Austria - have all ridiculed this stupidity since their respective countries are sensible enough not to have such xenophobic laws! ... The only explanation I can give is that Slovenian laws regarding foreigners are heavily focused on people from ex-Yugoslavia since they constitute major foreigner demographics here, and then its much easier and cheaper for them to obtain such document every 3 years, being in close vicinity.

Tired of the experience I called upon my Slovenian friends if they know anyone working for Slovenian Interior Ministry, just to find out if there is any loophole in the law. I myself wrote the ministry explaining them the complications involved in getting this paper for which I got a robotic reply explaining to me the exact law phrases in fancy diplomatic language - i.e useless at best. A friend suggested with good intentions that I should write Slovenian radio Val202 for their program "Kje pa vas čevelj žuli" - ("What bothers you?") which turned out to be a horrible experience of selective journalism. Long story short, they made me look like the guilty party in a way that I "forgot" to provide Slovenian Government this certificate and that administrative unit were so "kind" in resolving my problem. Program archive can be found here (from 4:50 onwards)

The real Messiah turned out to be my landlord lady, whom I had just casually mentioned the problem. She called the Ministry on her own, protesting what kind of advertisement Slovenia is giving to the world. Every diplomatic persistence that "law is law!" was countered with equal flair that "law is stupid!". In the end she prevailed and I was called the next day to provide them copies of all pages from my old and new passport as evidence that I haven't traveled to Pakistan in these 3 years. Always a grandmother presence, showering me with fruits, vegetables from her garden, and sweets over religious holidays ... this time her efforts were priceless!

On one hand, an array of Slovenian friends understanding my frustration and wanting to help me in every possible way, there were odd ones telling me that if I have so many problems here and that Slovenia is such a "bad" country, why don't I leave? ... Well, one day I will leave, but your country will always suffer due to people like you who find excuses rather than solutions! ... And who am I to scream so much, my problem was relatively a small one, people have actually died in this country because of bureaucracy.

“Bureaucracy is the death of all sound work” - Albert Einstein

Memorable Pakistan Tests

2011-08-13T20:48:00.000-07:00

June 2011 - In run-up to the 2000th Test, Steven Lynch, the ESPNCricinfo author famous for his compendium "Ask Steven" published some of Pakistan's more memorable tests. In response while fully appreciating Steven's efforts, we as Pakistan fans felt that some very significant victories were still left out, specially the ones from the 90s and 2000s. In an attempt to overcome this gap and celebrate our 64th independence day, here is what I have compiled with links to scorecard and highlights from YouTube. (leaving out the Tests mentioned in Steven's article). The whole post is a bit long but so is Pakistan's illustrious journey in Test Cricket. Please feel free to correct broken links and factual errors.

v New Zealand, Hamilton, 1993 - Scorecard

v Australia, Karachi, 1994 - Scorecard

v SouthAfrica, Durban, 1998 - Scorecard

v India, Chennai, 1999 - Scorecard

v India, Kolkata, 1999 - Scorecard

v West Indies, St John's, 2000 - Scorecard
West Indies were extremely fortunate to reach their target of 216. They benefited from 2 glaring umpiring errors. Wasim Akram, in an inspired spell of fast bowling as devastating as his 1st-innings 6 for 61, had a confident appeal for a catch by Moin Khan off Adams turned down by umpire Doctrove (officiating for the first time in a Test match), while an equally vehement claim for a bat-pad dismissal of last man Walsh, off Saqlain, was denied by umpire Cowie. Television replays confirmed that both should have been out. It was a Test Pakistan should have won, they were ultimately denied their first series victory in the Caribbean.

v Bangladesh, Multan, 2003 - Scorecard

v New Zealand, Wellington, 2003 - Scorecard

v India, Bangalore, 2005 - Scorecard

v England, Multan, 2005 - Scorecard

v India, Karachi, 2006 - Scorecard

v Srilanka, Kandy, 2006 - Scorecard

v England, Oval, 2006 - Scorecard
Racist Hair and Doctrove (again) deprived millions fans, of Cricket and Pakistan of a much deserved victory bringing the whole shameless Oval fiasco.

v SouthAfrica, Port Elizabeth, 2007 - Scorecard

Middle Finger

2011-07-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

Here I am ... limping through my keyboard and typing a blog post with a fractured, stiff, swollen, unbend-able, jumbo-sized middle finger. Those who don't know what the fuss this is about ... well cricket has changed my finger's stability status from "Simple" to "Its fractured" :( ... Thanks to the best batsman of our club and his glorious flat, bullet-paced, well-directed-at-my-ribs, straight drive which left my middle finger 90 degrees bent sideways ... With Ramadan as close as ever, timing of this injury hasn't been ideal ... Luckily its my left hand, cricket season is almost over for this year and there exist happier guys in this universe with worse conditions e.g Nick Vujicic. In a bid to recover smoothly and speedily, I'm trying to avoid finger surgery through conservative treatment methods by applying Ice pack approx 5 times a day

Anyway ... motivations and psychological/spiritual healing advices are more than welcome ;)

How many NFP fans does it take to screw a light bulb?

2011-07-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

13!

One to screw it in,

one to exchange light bulb for cannabis,

one to invite Indians to help screw the light bulb,

one to accuse Talibans for attempting to blow the bulb,

one to excoriate fanatics for creating the need for as "fundamental" an idea as en"light"enment,

one to criticize Islamists as backward and not being capable of inventing a better means of illumination,

one to cast the light bulb itself to be a creation of Zia regime and too pro-Islamic,

one to deconstruct the light bulb according to Jinnah - i.e secularly shaped,

one to blame mullahs for creating an environment that encourages sectarian dispute over changing light bulbs,

one to thrash Pakistan for having a society where too many light bulbs have to be changed,

one to advocate a ban on Hudood ordinance in the wake of light bulb screwing,

one to urge Fasi Zaka to have a program - "Secularists are now out-light-bulbing their religious counterparts",

and one to just sit there taking photos for NFP's next blog as evidence that Islamists failed to change the bulb.

Never forget Srebrenica!

2011-07-10T15:47:00.000-07:00

My first interaction with news concerning Bosnia was way back in 1995 when Bosnian war was coming to an end. A brutal outcome as it was, more than 100,000 people lost their lives with an estimated over 2 million people displaced ... this was by far the most devastating conflict in Europe since WWII. Back then I was too young (10 years old) to realize any political details. Few years later the decently compiled thriller drama series "Alpha Bravo Charlie" hit our national TV channel, highlighting Pakistan Army's operational involvement in the war under United Nation's protocol. Then in late 2008, Slovenia happened and I found myself more close to Bosnian proximity (Sarajevo is roughly 550km from Ljubljana). As Bosniaks constitute a sizable number of overall Muslim minority in Slovenia, my day to day interaction with them increased which eventually led to further research on breakup of Yugoslavia and the political turmoil surrounding that war.

July 1995, when army of Republika Srpska under the command of General Ratko Mladić with full backing of Serb paramilitary unit - Scorpions and Greek Volunteer Guard, under the presence of UN-deployed Dutchbat, executed genocide, ethnic cleansing, rape and abuse of civilians, construction of mass graves and a total massacre of more than 8300 Bosniak lives.

Today, 11th July 2011, I'm dedicating my post as a memo of remembrance, when this misfortune unleashed exactly 16 years ago ... I dedicate this post to my innocent brothers and sisters who paid with their lives ... to the people who had to face this ultimate tragedy of watching their loved-ones being slaughtered in front of their eyes ... to those who had to seek refuge out of their motherland ... to the ruthlessness of Mladić, Karadžić, Plavšić, Milošević and the nationalists who were blindly manipulated by them ... to the human right activists (including Serbs) who did everything to make sure this history does not get lost among the clouds of self-denial and apologetics ... to the grand joke of all practical jokes - United Nations, who (again) failed to control the situation ... to the hypocrisy of Dutchbat who knowingly handed over Bosniak civilians to Republika Srpska ... to the fact that it took them 16 years to capture the chief culprit and that justice delayed is justice denied ... to the promise that as Muslims WE WILL NEVER FORGET SREBRENICA!!!

In the land of fire and ice

2011-07-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

Ever since that keyboard-mistyped-volcano erupted last year to screw European aviation for some weeks, I started to research where and what kind of place Iceland actually is :) ... French fiction novelist - Jules Verne made this place world famous by his "Journey to the center of the earth" ... hence, the more I found about it, the more this new intention grew inside me ... to explore this mighty landscape where nature is the supreme ruler!

Transformation of this desire into reality was never a smooth journey ... firstly due to limited and expensive flights and then the usual "myths" - "Why Iceland? Whats there? ... its so cold ... brrr!!!" ... To add a bit of irony, I only knew 1 person before this trip in my circle who has actually been to Iceland. To the rest, here are some facts for your disappointment:
Iceland - one of the most eco-friendly countries in the world, is actually green and Greenland is actually covered in ice ... in fact the Greater Reykjavik Area is almost always free from snow ... furthermore there are no igloos and the humble, well-mannered Icelandic people, instead of being Eskimos are descendants from Vikings and Gaels, with one of the longest life expectancies in the world ... The climate is surprisingly temperate for such a high latitude country just outside the arctic circle ... Having said that, Iceland is home to 3 of Europe's largest glaciers and the largest - Vatnajökull covers more than 8% of the country ... On the other hand Iceland offers burning hot stuff like volcanoes, geysers, geothermal pools, grilled whale meat, blue-eyed viking blondes ;)

Credits to Transavia, we found a reasonable flight from Paris Orly which was perfect as I already had to come there for my passport renewal. Flying 3.5 hours, we arrived in Reykjavik around midnight and were immediately rewarded with the bounties of midnight sun :). Accommodation at City Hostel was a bit forgettable - thanks to the whining drama-queen American and the snorting Aussie in our room plus a drunk racist French we met in the lounge (the less I talk about it the better). Being just 2 guys, we decided not to rent a car as few of the remote areas had gravel road sections and a 4X4 was recommended. Iceland has a group of excellent tourist agencies including "Iceland Excursions" and "Reykjavik Excursions" which offer daily guided tours along with booking and pickup from the hotel. First day we experienced the most popular and much recommended tour, widely known as The Golden Circle. The next day was followed by a cruise trip to Westman Islands. 3rd day we reserved for Icelandic horse riding and relaxation in Iceland's premier spa - The Blue Lagoon. Last day we actually missed our tourist bus to Langjökull glacier ... for the replacement of which we rented a VW Polo, drove all the way on ring road down to the extremely windy Snæfellsjökull glacier and then late evening returned it back to Keflavik airport.

All in all, I consider my Icelandic job only half done ... it surely deserves another detailed attention ... when indeed its an island of extreme contrasts ... where fire and ice co-exist .. where dark Northern lit winters are offset by summer’s midnight sun ... where grass, algae, Alaska-imported-lupinus, lava rock, horses and sheep herds construct real colors of the countryside ... where whales, seagulls, auks and puffins decorate the shores .. where tectonic plates on the Mid-Atlantic Ridge enable Europe to geologically meet North America!!!

Bosanska Avantura

2011-06-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

Out of nowhere, after such long wait, with a burning desire to visit Bosnia, it finally happened for me ... when our company organized a weekend rafting trip in Una river near Bihać. Coincidentally the same days last year I started my Norway voyage for what have become an unforgettable trip till date. This one, although short, definitely possessed some potential of its own. Visa arrangements were supplemented by tourist voucher from our sports agency - Skok Sport and around 2 impatient weeks, I finally obtained it from the Bosnian Embassy in Ljubljana.

By the plan, we took off from Ljubljana around 7am. Due to Pope's weekend in Zagreb and anticipated traffic at main borders, we decided to take the Bela Krajina route. Things at Slovenia-Croatia border at Metlika were overall ok, except for that Croatians (as expected) wanted to say "hello" by checking my backpack if I'm bringing some alpine chocolate for them ;) ... if that wasn't enough, Croatia-Bosnia border witnessed a case of mistaken identity when I was unanimously declared an Indian Water Polo professional. An hour of wait, frustration and unnecessary interrogation pissed us off as a group, but I really appreciate the support I got from all my coworkers and the agency guide ... be it joking about the situation or speaking Croatian language to make matters simple ... never at any stage they made me feel that I'm different.

Sometimes when I come across this phrase "Citizen of the world" ... it really prompts me to think I am not ... may be I'm wrong, but who would convince the Croatian authorities ... or the several other stereotype believers who think anyone who hails from a Muslim background or Islamic country is a suspect?

Apart from shit above, rest of the trip was remarkable ... we arrived at Bihać around 1:00 ... fed ourselves in a river-side restaurant with Ćevapi ... relaxed a bit, took a walk around city center and then moved on to our starting point - Kostela for the actual rafting to begin.

Distributed in rafts of 2 or 3 persons (some in their personal kayaks), our adventure kicked off at 3pm ... Banking on my one-time experience with Soča and the newly acquired swimming skills, I felt quite comfortable with the raft, and if that wasn't enough, I got a competent Bosnian guide with me ... Track was relatively easy and the slopes were never too dangerously steep ... some had their experiments with the raft which inverted it and they had to swim and find a safe rock to start again, but overall everyone enjoyed the balanced combination of relaxed and effort rafting. Finished with the adrenaline part, we headed towards our accommodation at the lousy Hotel Sedra. Rest of the evening was spent under wooden shelter in darkness (thanks to power outage), rain, chit chat and Ćevapis with drinks and some traditional Bosnian music around.

Next morning was the day reserved for sightseeing trips around Bihać. First destination was the nearly located Ostrožac Castle. A unique mixture of Ottoman and Habsburg architectural ruins with newly installed monuments and Bosnian graffiti, the castle offers birds-eye view of nearby towns and the Una river. From there on, we drove up-hill to the town of Brekovica to see beautiful Bajrići Džamija (Mosque). Taking over as the unofficial guide, I tried to explain religious significance and origin of certain objects inside the mosque to my coworkers. In between the mosque tourism, one Bosnian lady when heard Slovenian language, came to greet us and invite for coffee at her house. Turned out she lived and worked 22 years in Ljubljana and wanted to pay back tribute to the Slovenes in a typically warm Bosnian fashion. So warm, friendly and homely that I was even promised to be connected with a Bosnian girl! (I wish ;))

Our last sight-seeing destination was the Croatian town of Slunj, after the authorities surprisingly let me go this time without drama. Texture of this part of Croatia looks very similar to Plitvice Lakes National Park with the gorgeous waterfalls at the confluence of Korana and Slunjčica. Via motorway route Karlovac-Zagreb-Ljubljana, we were at our workplace parking lot around 7pm. This trip although short has definitely increased my appetite for Bosnia and all I reckon for the future is that Sarajevo and Mostar awaits!

10 reasons why Imran Khan is considered a joke

2011-05-25T00:17:00.000-07:00

These days when we hear a lot about Imran Khan's opposition to drone attacks in Pakistan in the form of dharnas and exclusive media interviews, a bunch of "liberal intellectuals" just don't seem to digest it... I've been trying hard to figure out what reasons actually drive a person to oppose Imran's political stance so much? ... and without trying to generalize I've come up with following conclusions...

* Imran has been a notorious playboy in the past and even though its his personal matter and not his present, it discredits his political value ... mind you, other political parties are packed with saints ;)

* Since the leader of my political party has bashed Imran for whatever reasons, I must do the same ... mind you, my leader is never wrong ;)

* Imran does not belong to my ethnicity and I only support political party which represents my ethnic group ... even though we're talking about representing Pakistan here ;)

* Since Imran treats fellow politicians on merit and based on their current agenda ... he does not have permanent loyalties, and often take U-turns ... mind you, "a true Pakistani leader" always holds on to his birth slogan, even if it turns out to be fascist ;)

* Imran has been extremely critical of my Ataturk of Pakistan - General Musharraf ... mind you, Musharraf "enlightened" us with modernity and is the sole reason why we still experience "harmony" in this country, and why India is still "afraid" of us ;)

* I don't like the fact that being a "Tanga party" Imran enjoys so much media coverage in Pakistan ... media coverage should be directly proportional to the number of years associated with Pakistani politics ;)

* Political pedigree in Pakistan is weighed by how many years you've "served" in politics and how far your holy ancestry stretch back when it comes to representing a political party ... furthermore, how much capital as a politician were you successfully able to extract from the masses ... AND NOT how much you've served your country either as a cricketer or as a philanthropist!

* Imran support Talibans ... these are filthy outsiders destroying our country since the last 63 years, they want to bring terrible Sharia law here ... we don't wanna end up as a Wahhabi Arab state ... we'd rather let Raymond Davis in here than Talibans!

* Imran is a harsh critic of US ... why? ... whats his problem? ... US has been successfully restoring "democracy" and "peace" all around the world and has given us so much since our birth ... the technology, the weapons, the aid packages, education to our children, jobs, their military helped us eliminate more than 30,000 terrorists so far ... sometimes they're so nice not to inform us about their operations in our own backyard ... what more does he want? ;)

* My favorite elite journalists, bloggers and Noam Chomsky wannabe pundits like Nadeem.F.Paracha, Najam Sethi and Fasi Zaka criticize Imran Khan ... what more do I need to be convinced ;)

To my dear Imranophobes, I DO NOT personally agree with Imran's stance on democracy, ... but for you I must pray and advice that you learn to criticize constructively and to appreciate someone's sincerity and honesty. Please try to put your ethnic and family-fueled political prejudices behind, when evaluating someone who has done more positive stuff for his country than you yourself ... thank you :)

Giro d'Italia

2011-04-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

Last week of April for me in Slovenia has always been vacations ... thanks to weekend, Easter and Slovenian day of uprising against occupation. When it came to deciding the holiday destination, it took months of discussions and suggestions ranging from Iceland to Spain to Turkey to Norway to Baltic states, but finally it ended up on birthplace of Western culture, home to the greatest number of UNESCO world heritage sites, the very diverse Italy!

Planning an 8-day trip to Italy involving 6 people was never going to be easy. For the sake of time, route, convenience and priority we had to leave out Aeolian Islands, Mount Etna, Sardinia, Capri, Milan, Turin, Bologna, Grand Paradiso National Park, Genoa, Lake Garda. It didn't help when we found out that flights after certain time have been moved from Trapani to Palermo. On top of that our initially booked 7-seater VW Touran was no more available and 2 small Fiat Pandas were the last resort.

Actual journey kicked off from 23rd, covered by Pandas distributed into 2 groups of 3 each - (Google maps). Being from Pakistan, it didn't take us too long to acclimatize with driving in Southern Italy. That nonchalant overtaking, that feel-free-to-park-anywhere attitude, that disregard for traffic lights, stop-signs and speed limits, that selfish I-will-take-all-space-available-on-road behavior ... sounds very familiar :)

Too hard to summarize each n every of those 8 colorful days in a blog post. All in all from this trip, I find it extremely hard to forget our cosy, affordable yet comfortable and decent B&Bs ... the constant banters and verbal spankings ... the miscommunications resembling a Software project ... those fights for shower ... poses for the camera ... mimicries of Zaid Hamid and Italian accent ... unsuccessful attempts to avoid using Italian profanity in public ... that driving the car like a scooter which could put an average Italian to shame ... those Billmonk threats ... Virgin Radio ... Sicilian flea markets ... my first swimming attempt in Tyrrhenian sea ... that 4 hour haunted quest of wrestling with Garmin and Italian road signs to find Tropea ... that posteggiatore in Napoli ... the Biryanis-cum-Pulaos and Kebabs ... the photo tricks with Pisa tower ... the huge economic and cultural difference between North and South ... the 2000+ meters high Dolomites day with rain, sun, sleet, snow, and a king-size lunch at Ristorante Marmolada ... that charge-double-if-you-eat-inside restaurant scam ... and my desperate 11th hour departure from Venice with a mangled and twisted ticket!

You know you're Zionist when...

2011-04-17T16:06:00.000-07:00

You can choose to adopt a different identity and later hijack it for your nationalist motives

Everybody wanted to historically kick you out of their empire for obvious reasons!

You can seek refuge in someone else homeland and then later call it yours!

You can accuse people fighting for their homeland as terrorists!

You can display your ultra-nationalism even though you're bunch of immigrants!

You pretend to be follower of Judaism yet you base your state on secular values!

Anyone who justifiably criticizes you is Antisemitic!

You can still collect considerable sympathy over holocaust even though you follow similar Nazi attitude towards Palestinians!

You can afford to have nuclear weapons while a Muslim country possessing it is a threat for humanity!

Superpowers use their veto every time to save your ass!

You're less than 0.3% of the world but you steal many of the world's capital through investment banking institutions!

You're brave enough to raid a humanitarian flotilla!

You can still prosper consistently while the rest of the world goes bankrupt!

Even though deep down you know the truth, you will still deny most of the above-mentioned facts!

A brand new scar

2011-03-30T15:10:00.000-07:00

Another brand new scar inflicted today by traditional nemesis - India. Congratulations to them for this historic victory and maintaining their unbeaten streak against Pakistan in world cups ... good luck in the final against Sri Lanka. (I wish I could have written the last sentence with honesty, but arrogant and bullying Indian media has deprived me of it).

I find it beyond reasons, how much India deserved it today ... Pakistan certainly didn't at all ... and why would they? ... how many times in the history of any sports have we witnessed a team emerging tall while wrestling their own inner demons?

Call me a paranoid fan for whom cricket is a matter of life and death, but I need to get some return on my faith investment over this team. Mummy dady fans apart who only follow cricket world cups ... fans with in-depth cricketing knowledge, who regularly follow test cricket and more than just Pakistan games will understand me. Whoever after today is "proud", "satisfied", "not ashamed of" or "still loves" this shambolic effort should get a life or stop watching cricket. You people are the sole reason, crooks continue to represent our nation!

Build-up to this game was unnecessarily hyped, ignited by over-excited Indian media, our Muppet Prime Minister, some ill-fated match-fixing remarks by another joker - our Interior Minister and morons conducting Facebook polls about match result.

Although Pakistan was banking on a winning streak of 6 out of 7 games, it must be realized 3 of them were against minnows, 1 against clueless West Indians. Game against Sri Lankans was almost choked by pathetic fielding which eventually cost the game against New Zealand. Batting - specially opening continued to be a dilemma except in quarter-final and as obvious a fact that none of our batsmen managed even a single 100+ score. Who says Pakistan is mercurial? ... with their flaws they have been as consistent as ever.

Today, exactly at the most crucial moment ... all these achilles' heels, curtained by bowling-inspired-victories, came back to haunt us. Lives were generously gifted from dropped catches. Wickets were cheaply thrown at important stages. Some wanted to mastermind a last-man-standing super-hero climax which actually created a deep hole around others to fell in and suddenly a Mount Everest was made from a modest score on the flattest of the flat decks against a never-so-threatening Indian bowling attack. To add more insult to injury, powerplay was saved as consolation for rest of the nation. It felt like a deja-vu from 2007 T20 CWC final, didn't it?

I know all this will be forgotten under the radar of low expectations and another "re-building phase". This nation can forget and forgive anything, right? ... even Raymond Davis :)

Tour de Benelux

2011-02-13T08:53:00.000-08:00

Prešeren Day, combined with weekend and a couple of holidays turned into something long enough for vacations and a much needed kick to write my first blog post of 2011 ... I decided to make a 3000 km road-trip (Google maps here!) to the Benelux countries. Some Slovenians questioned my ways of vacationing, that weather is not very encouraging these days in that part of Europe. I was even accused of being a Japanese in disguise who religiously follows Lonely Planet - "Visit whole Europe in a week" ... I'd like to clarify here that vacation to me does not include beer-tasting, jumping from one pub to another, partying like there is no tomorrow and not remembering the next day what happened, sleeping 12 hrs per day or lying in a pool in some fancy hotel or the worst of all ... fooling around with random locals.

Anyway, as I had to pass through Baden-Württemberg, YBA was my automatic co-passenger ... The trip came out as a true sequel from our last year's Tri nation trip ... perhaps a bit more spiced-up from YBA's constant micro-incident tweets (via HTC Desire ;)), iPad bragging, capturing flickr material (read: birds) and planning a job invasion for German IT market :P

We started trip from the town of Schengen, Luxembourg - birth-place of the famous border-less agreement and a Tripoint intersection of Germany and France. After nearly missing the schengen monument and literally driving few centimeters inside the French territory, we finally found and captured its snaps. Then came the boring capital of Luxembourg, i.e Luxembourg city ... so boring that YBA actually erased the notion from his memory that we even went there :P ...

From there on we took the direction towards Waterloo, Belgium! ... yes the same Waterloo where Napoleon lost that decisive battle which changed the course of Europe. Luckily we arrived at the Lion's Mound just 2 minutes before the allowed entrance. After climbing and checking it thoroughly, we had Pizzas for dinner in the nearby Wellington Cafe (named after the 1st Duke of Wellington). Wellington reminded me of the last Pak vs NZ ODI (at Auckland), highlights of which were actually being broadcasted that time in Cafe.

The quick transition from one city to another continued, when we arrived at Brussels the same evening. Parking was a true nightmare, highlighted by an act of 15-minute traffic-blocking, side-park only to discover the no-parking sign later :( ... Hence, we settled for paid garage, followed by a walk in city center and the yummy mixed flavor double scoop Häagen-Dazs!

Overnight we started driving towards Netherlands, or I should say the windy Netherlands ... soo windy that it could literally bring tears in your eyes and blow your top off! ... As expected windmills were in abundance, although it became quite of a challenge to actually capture their snaps from the motorway.

We arrived in The Hague around midnight, did a smoke-test walk through the city center, watched crazy drunks ready for an all-nighter, then delayed the actual discovery of the city for the next morning. Next morning was a detailed walk through the old part and china town, mainly in pursuit of International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia. Few kilometers of directionless walk prompted us to go back to the car and check through the GPS. It said some 24 kilometers, which didn't look encouraging enough.

Skipping the ICTY, we headed towards Scheveningen - one of the Hague districts and a prominent sandy resort over the North sea. Going there in winter can be a bit of fun as the cold breeze coupled with sand was blowing all over.

Our final destination in the Benelux was of course Amsterdam! ... just 50 more kilometers from The Hague, we learned our Brussels' Parking lesson and parked this time in one of the P+R (Park n Ride) facilities near the 1928 Olympic Stadium. Its kinda impressive deal, you pay 8€ per day, which also includes return tram/rail/bus ticket, which we used to head towards the city center. Named after the dam built over Amstel river, an attractive huge city with several canals and bridges offering a Venice-like-feel (though much cleaner than Venice! :P) ... Cycling looks like an everyday part of their life and sometimes bicycle lanes can be wider than car's :P ... Inevitably we took an hour long ferry trip which went through important canals and parts of the old town. Ferry was full of excitement, a charming display of Amsterdam at night and in my case a nervy experience of those loud, annoying, body-language-exhibitionist Italians ... boy was the last word redundant? ... well sometimes Italian stereotypes are ironically true :P ... Following the canal trip, we finished off with some greasy beef steak, a walk around well-known districts ;) and checking out souvenir shops.

Some rest again at a gas station, Monday morning we decided to make bonus trips to Cologne (looks so French - the name) and Bonn - the old capital of West Germany. Unlike the gray windy Benelux, It was nice, warm, sunny and relaxing there ... Cologne gives a special feeling due to its tall Gothic Cathedral and the bridge view over Rhine river. The day ended with YBA capturing stunning snaps around the twilight on Bonn's Rhine bridge.

We finally came back to YBA's place, so exhausted that we woke up around 12 noon the next day, which we had dedicated for a small trip to Heidelberg (50km outside Karlsruhe). Iqbal-Ufer - a street named after Allama Iqbal was our main attraction there. With the daylight still alive, we climbed the hill-top Heidelberg castle which offers stunning view of the old bridge over Neckar river. The very castle also became location for our famous video, highlighting how an emotional ZH would behave in the city of Iqbal. Heidelberg and our trip officially ended with us getting a 15€ parking ticket and YBA doing an Iqbal in front of the Iqbal-Ufer.

Bye Bye 2010 :)

2010-12-31T04:33:00.000-08:00

As I'm writing my last blog post of 2010 ... I see my own words soaked from the overwhelming emotions of this December. I found this month a bit more challenging to cope with as compared to the rest of 2010 ... May be its because I'm getting older ... may be its an important transition phase in life or may be its just the weather ... The rest of 2010 was full of fun, adventure, a lot of empty boxes ticked ... I did skiing, kayaking, rafting for the first time ever ... I consider my trip to Scandinavian Fjords, as the ultimate travel highlight of 2010 ... my warm and sincere thanks to ex-coworkers for this! ... I hope we continue to explore the world together in future ... love you all and a little golden piece of memory below ;)

Thinking of 2010, besides my own personal experience doesn't offer a great feeling. Recession continued to hamper financial progress all over the world (thanks to mighty capitalism :)) ... then Haiti earthquake, Icelandic Volcano (as a 2011 resolution ... try learning pronunciation of the name of that volcano :D), Pakistan floods which left roughly 20 million people without homes ... and a big disappointment to all Pakistan Cricket fans ... i.e the spot-fixing controversy ... but as they say ... "There is opportunity in every crisis!" ...

As goal-oriented and as keen I am to foresee things in the long-term ... it would be impossible not to think about the 2011 resolutions ... here are mine :)

* I'd travel more ... I know it sounds crazy given how many kilometers I already made in 2010 .. but still ... traveling brings compassion, tolerance and the ability to understand different cultures ... someday I'd be proudly foretelling stories of my tales to my grandchildren ... I hope :)

* I'd improve on my physical fitness ... (read: no McDonalds :S) ... I believe the first step I've already taken as I'm learning how to swim :)

* I'd study more books ... there is much much material to be read, specially about my own religion ... too often we try to understand other religions and cultures and underestimate what our own brings to the table :)

* I'd improve on my cricket ... cricket is my passion, even though I suck at it ... I'd love to be more focused, train with more discipline, bring an air of positivity to the team I'm playing for, while also progressing my individual skills :)

* I'd spread the voice of suffering Palestine people as much as I could on any possible public forum ... I believe people in EU need a lot more awareness about it ... in my personal opinion, this issue will sweep the political world aside in the next few decades.

* I'd improve my ability to trust people ... yes it comes with age and experience but its important to identify which people are trustworthy ... hopefully I'll learn my lessons from the last month :)

* I'd visit Pakistan ... although I'm delaying this for a long 2 years now ... I believe 2011 is the time ... I wish my family back home a lot of deserved happiness.

* Would spend less time on FB ... now that's the hardest one ... still I have to do something about this addiction :D

* And last but not least ... I'd improve as a Muslim, there are lot of things I can learn from my peers and friends ... there is always a room for such improvement and I believe it automatically makes me a better person :)

I wish everyone succeeds considerably in making their resolutions come true ... a happy, healthy and prosperous 2011 for all, wherever you are!

Shell life

2010-12-17T13:26:00.000-08:00

No matter how optimistic, cheerful, funny and socially active you are, there are phases which slow down your momentum. We all live through dark moments where we spend time in wilderness, hide inside our shells from the problems that surround us. Reasons of which can be several but not limited to health, work, family, relationships, weather or even an untimely combination of these. Sometimes its not a bad idea to disappear from the public (better disable your FB account :D) ... The only critical thing is the length of this period ... quite inversely proportional to men's nature this time ... the shorter the better! ;)

The blog post you are reading is a mere indication of me coming out of my personal shell life! ... What I've learned so far is that life goes full circle, you can't control everything even when you think you do, sometimes we make decisions and sometimes decisions are made for us :) ... In this phase of misery we must find our spiritual dimension ... if you believe in God, connect with Him ... ask Him ... never ever feel guilty for calling Him in tough times and forgetting Him during prosperity ... our Creator loves us more than our parents, He will always listen to us regardless of what we did in past life, provided we turn to Him from the bottom of our hearts and we avoid things He has forbidden upon us.

The worst thing we can do is to let these depressed feelings take control of ourselves and leave us in tatters ... Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional :)

First snowfall - Ljubljana 2010/11

2010-11-26T10:12:00.000-08:00

November 26th ... First snowfall in Ljubljana for the season and here we have this beautiful blanket of crystal covering as much landscape and cars as it can ... I like snow ... exception to this rule is when I stay home on weekend and have to dig my car out of it on Monday ... But unlike snow-allergic people who don't like snow even on postcard, or those who fear its frightful traffic, or those who simply see it as a sign of stay-at-home ... I prefer to smack some asses through snowballs or hurt my legs in awkward fashions in an attempt to ski ...
proof below ;)

Like rain and sun, I consider snow as a gift from God, which adds a new flavor to our seasons and gives us something to cherish in winter. Think about people from Southern Pakistan (me for example), majority of Middle East, Africa or other regions which never saw snow and where generations passed away without ever feeling how its like to stand beneath a fairytale snowfall ... where innocent children think of snowfall as ice-cubes ... (I know I wasn't that innocent, but yes I also thought so until I came here ;))

Agreed that last year was too much snow but its better to appreciate and live with things over which we have little control :)

Sightseeing trip - Munich

2010-11-22T08:57:00.000-08:00

For my surprised and jealous friends wondering why I'm not traveling, here is some food for you!!! ... I went to Munich more than a week ago for a day trip ... And yes its possible to see Munich in one day if you are ME and if you are "forced" to prioritize what to see and what to leave for future ;) ... Starting as early as 7:00 in the morning, we arrived at destination around 13:00 passing through a flipflop pattern of sunny and foggy terrains ... The overall trip can be divided into 4 parts.

Dachau concentration camp
Not the best of idea to start a sightseeing trip with as tragic a place as a Nazi concentration camp, Dachau hosts the first of its kind in Germany. It took us few hours exploring and reading through documentaries and pictorials about the inhuman behavior, prisoners of this camp were fed with. More than 7000 Yugoslavs were kept here, among which majority were Slovenes.

Even after more than 60 years, a peculiar European mentality is fresh from the horrors, and any attempt of mentioning Holocaust in the wake of Zionist-captivated-Palestine will land you with charges of Antisemitism, Racism, Nazism and holocaust-denial in a free speech society :)

Nymphenburg Palace
A beautiful baroque palace in the suburbs of Munich, it was once home of Bavarian rulers, most notably King Ludwig I.... The ultimate jewel of this palace is of course the famous Gallery of Beauties - a sophisticated collection of 36 (+1 self-proclaimed ;)) portraits of beautiful women associated with different noble class.

BMW Museum
Honestly speaking, the main reason of our visit to Munich was definitely this museum. It took us some time to realize that we've ended up in BMW Welt instead of the museum (which was actually across the road connected with a bridge to welt). Museum models variety of vehicles from motorbikes to archived classics, sporties, current generation and futuristic concepts.

Munich city center
By the time those 3 places above were covered, it was already 7:00 in the evening, so after worshiping our stomachs with the only meal of the day in Pizza hut, we decided to check Munich city center. Being a city of over 1 million people, the center is lively and booming with shopping malls. A much recommended thing to do there is to try this njami cheesecake ice cream from Häagen-Dazs

Classical bureaucracy

2010-11-18T12:23:00.000-08:00

Not that I'm an attention whore ... frequent readers of my blog are well-aware of my problems when it comes to entering Croatia or further South into Balkans. As Croats try to be more tourist-friendly-wannabees, I felt honor in letting them know about their crappy organization at the border. I know I'm pain in the ass for people who don't do their jobs or do it with a deadly combination of arrogance and sloppiness ... here is what I wrote to their Interior Ministry - Border Police Directorate

"Hi,

I am a citizen of Pakistan and I live in Slovenia for 2 years now on a valid Schengen residence permit. Since government of Croatia has announced this year that it lifted visa requirements for citizens holding Schengen permits between 1st April to 31st October. (http://www.mvpei.hr/mvp.asp?pcpid=1615)
I supposed I was allowed to visit. However every time I tried entering, the Croatian border guards told me that I require visa, and I had to explain them that they should check their latest information. Most of them don't speak English and don't even want to listen. This whole thing lasts more than an hour sometimes and it is very frustrating and demotivates tourism among non-European citizens who want to visit Croatia. Similar kind of problems my other Pakistani friends have faced and we all feel the kind of behavior we receive at Croatian border is very discriminatory.

Having said all this, I spent my summer vacations of 2010 on Croatian coast and it was a lovely experience. Never had any problem with people once inside the country.

Hassaan"

Their reply took almost a month ... may be they needed translation services ... for a good laugh, enjoy his reply ... PS I swear I didn't change the content he wrote ... original spelling and English grammar preserved ... promise ;)

"Dear mr. Hassaan,

We inform you taht we have carefully met withy your e-mail, and we inform you about next:

- if you had a valid schengen residence permit and an proof of tourist visits to Croatia you should not have any problem entering the Republic of Croatia during suspension visa regime, and we resume that you didn't have all necesary documents..

But, you must understand that police officers in accordance with legal regulations are in obilgation that they must check your travel papers and a proof of tourist visits before they let you to enter the Republic of Croatia.

We are sorry if that kind of a procedure has caused discimfort and frustratinos with you, and we assure you that police officers did not have intention to discriminte you. We hope that you will don't have similar problem's when you pass Croatian border point in the future.

ODJEL ZA SUSJEDNE ZEMLJE

NAČELNIK ODJELA

„Policijski službenik za nadzor obavljanja poslova granične kontrole“

„Police officer for supervision of border control perfomance“

Law and order enforcement on junior cricket!

2010-11-07T14:31:00.000-08:00

Umpiring in cricket is certainly not for the faint-hearted. Just try to imagine one gray drizzling foggy Sunday when you have to wake up at 7:00 in the morning ... c'mon who wakes up that early on Sunday ... sometimes I even go to sleep at that time being awake from the previous day :D (don't ask me what do I do till then ;)) ... And then you have to dress like a human, drive yourself 10-12 kilometers and arrive at a primary school sports hall. Every voice there contributing to the added and sometimes unbearable noise factor. On top of that you've roughly 60+ kids around the age of 10-12 ... all geared up for screaming, appealing, arguing, protesting and doing all kind of hair-pulling stuff in a compelling manner ... you might call it sheer magnitude of craziness ... we call it "Harvey Norman Schools Tournament" :D

Yes, I just came home from a physically statuesque, mentally exhausting, draining and absorbing day. Since this is the first year I started getting fully involved with cricket in Slovenia, this tournament needed everyone from the seniors to chip-in and organize something substantial among juniors for the promotion of cricket. We managed to pull together 8 teams from different schools in Ljubljana and cities near by. Some of us took care of food n beverages, some preferred coaching individual schools, few went for scoring each game and some turned umpiring.

My primary job for today was to stand as an umpire for few games. This involved constantly explaining to the kids our slightly-modified-for-indoor-cricket rules ... preventing them from behaving like hooligans during the game ... encouraging them when the chips are down ... pretending to be diplomatically unbiased in tough 50-50 decisions ... and more importantly asking everyone the same question "kako ti je ime?" (whats your name) over n over again so that the scorer could synchronize it in the score-book. Life became cruelly miserable every time they protested against my decision, and I had to explain them in my grammatically-broken, vocabulary-robbed Slovene :D (imagine explaining someone about cricket in a foreign language other than English ... what kind of terminologies would you come up with?) ... some cute little innocent sheeps went one step further to convince their parents how limited knowledge of cricket I have and how my injustice brought an end to their otherwise brilliant cameos :)

It all ended up in million-dollar smiles, cheering as a unit, meaty food, lucrative prices for the winners and stand-out performers. What I sincerely hope for is that such events flourish more interest in this sporty nation and that these passionate tiny warriors of today successfully take over as cricket's brightest future.

More Hungary!

2010-10-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

if(day.IsWeekend && life.HasNothingToDo && weather.IsSunny && wallet.IsNotEmpty)
{
    gps.SetNewDestination();
    car.Start();
    life.Adventure++;
}

My ass prefers to be on the driving seat, rather than my home chair (while the rest of my body is focused on Facebook). You know things have gone terrible if all you're looking for is "people" posting their summer holiday photos on FB ;) ... Anyway this weekend was sunny (at least Saturday), no cricket planned and wallet was certainly not empty so I decided to go to Pécs (closest pronunciation in English = Petch).

And why did I decide to go there? ... Well I saw the name on signboards during my crazy last weekend en-route to Belgrade, and it reminded me somehow of Ottomans whom I'm severely obsessed with ... I like reading about them, their fascinating architecture, their socio-economic system, delicious cuisines, the overall cultural heritage they left behind. I even try to unsuccessfully convince European people that Ottomans were not just about burning houses, kidnapping children and forcing others to convert to Islam. For those interested, I'd suggest this documentary.

Pecs is the 5th largest city of Hungary and is one of 2010 European Capital of Culture. Geographically situated near Croatian border, and if Ljubljana is your starting point, you'll find Croatian route, much shorter to reach Pecs. Again I had to go from Hungary (a deja-vu from last week), which made it 100km more, each way. Surprisingly the city has escaped influx from mass tourism, as Budapest and Balaton are more popular destinations in Hungary. Strictly speaking, Pecs is the nearest city, where I (yes me personally) can witness Ottoman architecture. I know i know Bosnia has more to offer in this regard and is even nearer, but hey, there is this cuntree Croatia in between me and Bosnia, and like everywhere else in the world, we Pakistanis need visa to travel to even Bosnia (don't ask me why).

We arrived Pecs around 1:00 PM. City looked quite empty and surprise surprise, free parking was very easy to find in the center. Major attractions for me were the mosque of Gazi Qasim Pasha and Jakovali Hassan mosque. These Muslim prayer places were built, when armies of Suleiman the Magnificent occupied Pecs after the fierce battle of Mohacs.

Originally a Gothic church from mid-13th century, the mosque in above photo was built in 1543 and is considered the most significant monument from Turkish-age in Hungary. In 1868 it was again turned to Catholic church after Pecs was liberated from Turkish rule.

Built in 16th century, the mosque above operates as a museum today.
Since the city has been through different influences in history, you can amazingly find catholic cathedrals, mosques, a Serbian orthodox chapel and even a synagogue in such compact city!

It took us around 4 hrs to walk and discover important monuments in the city and I started to feel "hungry" :)
As they say ... "if you feel hungry in Hungary, go to eat Turkey in Turkey". Gyros were abundant and cheaper to find in the city (like anywhere else in Hungary), and were lately the only option available for us. As Hungary has not yet joined the €-Zone, they use HUF (Hungarian Forints), and hence food is inexpensive in the country (except Budapest).

For the second consecutive weekend, I drove 1000 km approx (500 each way) ... this weekend without border hassles ... For me its not at all crazy to do such things every weekend ... its just expensive ;)

Tales from Belgrade!

2010-10-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

A lot of people tell me I'm crazy ... I agree, and so would you after reading further :)
Last weekend we were invited for a T20 Cricket tournament in Belgrade from Serbian Cricket Federation. As I'm always up for cricket and traveling, I voted a big Yes!!! ... I got invitation letter from Serbs, applied in the Serbian Embassy in Ljubljana and eventually got the visa. Although I wasn't sure whether to take my own car or not, in the end I decided to drive myself along-with 2 other friends.

Belgrade is more than 500km away from Ljubljana where I'm based, so we started early morning Friday (around 5:00) towards the direction of Zagreb (Croatia's capital). After driving some 100km we arrived at the Croatian border. We were asked purpose of our entry and we bluntly mentioned "Beograd!"... to which the lady's face turned red and she replied that we (Pakistanis) need "transit visa" to do that. Since they don't issue any visa on the border, and since it was weekend, there was no way we could get it from Croatian Embassy in Ljubljana. Simply meant "no Belgrade for you Mr cricket lover!" :)

People who know me can think of what I was going through in my mind at that time. I mumbled some swear words in Serbo-Croatian (those interested can take these lessons ;)) and laughed thinking ... "huh! this bitch doesn't know that if I've decided to do something, I will do it anyway!!!"

Here it also deserves a mention that I've already been 3 times to Croatia this year. The thing is that I'm allowed to go there as a tourist, but not if I just want to use their expensive highways to escape towards their neighbors. So my evil mind devised an idea that we can try to enter from some other border and will pretend that we're going to Zagreb! ... But the other 2 friends were not very supportive of this, claiming that it is risky and that on the other side of the border they can create trouble for us. I think of them as pussies for that reason (sorry Azi :P). In short I drove back to Ljubljana 100km again, dropped them to their home. I was still fuming ... "what a waste of a weekend!... phew... but hey wait! ... don't we have another way to go ... from Hungary? ... and Hungary is in the border-less Schengen zone ... oh yes!!! ... so what if its too long ... I'm crazy ... remember :D

So Budapest (Hungarian capital) became my new direction. Its 500km away from Ljubljana and we have good motorway connection (M7) in between. From there on I took the direction of Serbian border city "Subotica" which means "Little Saturday" (what an Irony as it was Saturday but not so little). When it comes to highways and road infrastructure, if you don't stick towards Budapest, you'll get the punishment in terms of free-way village roads where tractors bicycles and sometimes the roads themselves are common obstacles :). I know I came from Pakistan but hey its Europe!

At Serbian border, the guy was checking trunk of my car and he found my beloved Gray-Nicolls cricket kit! ... "What is that" ...
"um .. I play cricket!" ...
"Cricket!!! .... hahahaha" ... (he was almost about to roll on the floor laughing his ass off!)

Finally he let me go and I was feeling proud of myself that I succeeded in entering Serbia alone! ... my car clocked 800km by that time since the morning. But the goal was to reach Belgrade ... still some 180km away from Subotica. I continued my journey watching signboards in dual alphabet systems (Latin and Cyrillic), roughed-up narrow roads, heavy traffic with a not-so-western driving attitude and it started to rain from then onwards. My stomach reminding me that I need to fill it up with something ... I backed myself ... "few more hours darling then I'll feed you with Pasulj and Burek stuff".

With time 5:00 in the evening, kilometers clocking almost 1000, this was by far my most restless trip, but glad that I had arrived inside Belgrade city. This is a city of almost 2 million people and traffic there looks familiar to my hometown Karachi. Those who know what I'm talking about, can compare how nerve-wrecking it can be if you arrive in such city for the first time, you don't know nowhere to go and your GPS screams at you like "I can only tell that you're in the Balkans!" :)

I kept on marching towards the only destination I could go - Center of the town that is. I came across one huge cross-road where traffic appeared to be a Maze puzzle ... as the traffic lights were not working, a guy was controlling the directions. With a lazy, faint attitude I ignored it and went through! ... turned out to be a big mistake as the traffic from perpendicular direction had right of way!!! ... too little too late, one guy ended up crashing on the door from my side :( ... Somehow it shook me up, it didn't stop my car completely, and as I assessed the situation around me, I pressed accelerator instead of brakes!!! ... Shouts of "u p**** m*******" roared on my back (some local profanity I'm well aware of ;)), but I try to finish whatever I start ... so I raised my acceleration and disappeared from there in a flash :)

Basically I caused a minor accident and escaped, which is a dangerous offense. Here are my points to ponder,
1) I was alone.
2) I had money and valuables with me ... (Garmin nuvi 1390T GPS, Cannon PowerShot S5IS Camera, HTC Desire Phone ... ok ok no more bragging my gadgets ;))
3) Although I somehow understand a little, I wouldn't be able to deal with them in Serbian language
4) Serbian attitude in such situations is well-known to show no mercy ... I'm not stereotyping them but its a good possibility

Finally, I arrived at the center, and with some considerable luck, I managed to find parking, called my team-mates and here we were laughing at what happened with me :) I already had missed Saturday's game due to my late arrival, so we went to some party place to hangout with other teams. Belgrade as a city is very lively and you can feel the energy. People here are extremely warm and friendly. Our friend Slobodan deserves a special mention here. He showed tremendous hospitality, arranged food and accommodation for us, and made me feel like home.

On Saturday we had already lost our first game against Skopje, and Belgrade lost their game to Čačak, respectively. Sunday morning 10:00 AM, we were supposed to play our last game against Belgrade for 3rd position. We arrived at this football-ground-turned-cricket-stadium, and warmed up for the contest. We won the toss and decided to bat first. I was told to be prepared for one-down. I padded up, arrived for the moment which didn't take too long :) ... as I had already figured out there was no pitch and we were playing on the grass!!!

I'm not criticizing the pitch ... It wasn't there to be criticized :D ... As one teammate put it, his helmet took a good ping from a slow spinner who landed on a good length. Anyway I took guard, thought in my mind that I'll stay in as long as possible, will try to get my eye in, I promise I'll use my feet to the pitch of the ball (I know I always forget that) ... The bowler started his run-up, looked like some gentle medium pace to me from a distance, the ball pitched straight in-line, right on-target, kept low, I was slow to react, missed it, and heard the timber from the off-stump ... yeah baby all these kilometers ended up in a clean-bowled first ball golden duck which would make Chris Martin proud! ... slowly I trudged off back to the pavilion ... prepared to face the wild laughing asses of my fellow team mates :( ... I shook my head and thought ... "shit happens" :).

We ended up scoring 86, a below par score for T20. I opened the bowling along-with Brad who bowled the first over. Although I bowled without luck, I feel I was OK, if we forget how many times my feet slipped during run-up and the endless wides I conceded :D ... My spell lasted 2 overs and given the small target we were defending, it seemed more than enough. We eventually ended up losing the game comfortably, as expected

Shake of hands, group photos, goodbyes, and I decided to drive myself immediately back in order to reach Ljubljana before Monday so that I could work. I'll always feel sad for not visiting some interesting sights in this historical city, which was once capital of Yugoslavia. Places like Kalemegdan, Cathedral of Saint Sava, Knez Mihajlova street, Republic square, National theatre, Yugoslav leader Tito's Mausoleum and flower garden.

On my way back, I took one Slovenian teammate Nejc with me. Nejc, professionally a swing-dance teacher and a technically correct and complete cricketer, hes been lately my most supportive and warm friend in Slovenia. He drove a lot of kilometers for me on way back, juggled around with border guards diplomatically in his useful Serbo-Croatian skills, and enabled me to cheat the Croats this time! ... yes when they asked at the Croatian border, we said ... "ah you know we're going to Zagreb to visit a friend" ;)

All in all, I arrived home within 6 hrs, traveling just 500km this time. In my language they say ... "Jaan chutti so laakhon paaey ...Lot kay buddhu ghar ko aaey" ... (roughly translates to "All is well that ends well"

Hello blog!

2010-10-18T13:03:00.000-07:00

So what took me so long to dive into this blogging world? ... simple answer, I was too lazy :) ... A valid question might be ... "Why the hell are you writing now?" ... Well people have lately been telling me that I always have a "story" to share ... Of course I do! ... I mean I'm not a story-teller, but I just bluntly share most of my thoughts and incidents with people in my circle.

Take for example that sunny Sunday (its quite rare these days), I was hiking in Logar Valley with this truly amazing friend I've met in Slovenia and as I was again sharing some "story", I was suggested to start my own blog, which I just did.

As for the title of this blog goes, all my Slovenian friends understand my black humor about there tiny little country, which they believe, resembles a chicken (if you haven't seen one) ... Yes, I live and work in Slovenia. For those who don't know where it is, don't worry, you're not the first nor be the last to have such confusion. You can blame your geography teacher for not being able to point it for you on the world's map or Slovenians themselves for creating such a mystery in the very heart of Europe. Slovenia (not Slovakia) in short is a beautiful little country in Central Europe roughly between Vienna and Venice. On one side are the lovely Alps, on the other is the calm Adriatic sea. It is widely believed that the Adriatic part have room for further enlargement, especially from the area which is called Croatia ;)

So... as I'm learning how to actually wrap up things into a blog post, I'll try to grab this art slowly and improve with every attempt! ... Trust me, its one of those things which prevented me from starting a blog ... Enough said ... enjoy till my next post and have fun!